Card Companies, Rejoice

"Valentine's Day is just a holiday made up by card companies to guilt men into buying stuff for their wives."

How many times have you heard that one? For some, Valentine's Day is a pain - a horrible reminder of your inability to find a suitable partner. For others, Valentine's Day is a symbol of love and the companionship of your significant other. For the rest, Valentine's Day is about the more important, tangible things in life - like chocolate.


Now, I'm not gonna be one of those people that rants about how, "Valentine's Day is a plague on humanity. It just makes single people feel horrible - picking on the little guy." I'm also not gonna be one of those people that yells, "Ha ha, suckers, check out my boyfriend/girlfriend. He/she's awesome and I'm rubbing it in your face on Valentine's Day to make you feel jealous."

However, I think we can all agree that the true meaning of Valentine's Day is to be happy. to find true love. to get free candy. On second thought, I have no clue why. And I highly doubt many people these days know either.

Although the origin of Valentine's Day is not completely known, many believe (Wikipedia states) that it comes from one early Christian saint named Valentinus. In the most popular story, Valentinus was arrested for wedding soldiers, which was forbidden. When he was in prison, he grew fond of the daughter of the jailer. The day before his execution, he wrote her a letter saying farewell "from your Valentine."

Now, before you go all mushy and think "oh, how cute," remember, this is the most popular story just for that reason. In fact, there are numerous legends about several Saint Valentines. You know what's common in each one? Valentine dies. In some stories, he's martyred. In some stories, he's murdered. In some stories, he commits suicide.

So you know what you're really celebrating on Valentine's Day? Your celebrating that some guy over a millennium ago died a horrible death so we could exchange cards and candy and kiss our spouses and hug our boyfriends/girlfriends and eat candy by ourselves. Kind of puts a different perspective on it, doesn't it?

Instead, celebrate Valentine's Day's true significance - it's now the 51st day after Christmas. If you still have your Christmas tree up, you can now be classified as clinically insane and/or clinically lazy.